Limbo Stories
I'm going to switch gears now and post the very rough start to Limbo Stories. I started the idea then got stuck thinking I needed to read Dante and a stack of Catholic writings on Limbo and Purgatory in order to do a proper job of writing.
Limbo Stories
Needed: more research on the different theories of Limbo in the Catholic Church throughout history.
As she lay on her deathbed at the age of 40 all of the platitudes she had heard from well meaning people swirled through her head. “Everything happens for a reason” and “You just have to trust that this is a part of God’s greater plan.” Those she had heard many times, first when her brother’s first child died after 5 days in their lives. Her devout Catholic family had not yet had a chance to baptize him because he never made it out of the NICU. She heard it again when she learned at the age of 25 that she would never have her own children. This last time, it was when her own life was going to end prematurely, a virus that was not treatable even in this current time of medical discovery.
She knew many who had benefited from modern science, but each time it seemed that she and her family were not so lucky. She had experienced a true crisis of faith each time. Each time her inner circle had brought her back around. She loved her faith family and that helped sustain her even when her faith itself was wavering. When the doctors delivered her prognosis she did the only thing she could. It was pointless to try to fight it this time, she just laughed hysterically. Her doctor said it again thinking she had misunderstood. No, she got it, she was just done fighting. She said her goodbyes to everyone near and far that she could think might regret not having the chance for one last heart to heart. She let them know that she had finally accepted her fate. This sentence of a death in early middle age actually did seem like the will of a loving Father. This was the one time that the tragedy made sense.
When it happened, that is when the surprise happened. First her spirit was allowed to drift over her corporeal form for as long as she needed to observe what happened with her loved ones when she was gone. No one informed her of this, but she understood somehow that she was allowed to stick around until the funeral if she wanted, but no longer. She hung out to see the arrangements they made so that she could envision the service, but she decided that she didn’t want to see the actual service. All of the crying in one place, she couldn’t imagine watching that and not being able to reach out and comfort those she loved the most. As soon as she had that thought she felt herself being sucked through a tube. That lasted what seemed only a few seconds but she traveled so far in that time, to a new place. It was a room with tables and at each table there were a few guides dressed in the garb of various religious organizations. She went to the table with the Catholic Monks and Nuns. They opened a book which was embossed with the words “Unfinished Business,” she saw her name written in one column, and the word “Childless” written in the next column. She felt her heart catch a little bit, apparently that can still happen in the afterlife. The nun asked her to tell her story, and she poured out the story about how she had multiple illnesses that first took her fertility then her life. She talked about how because of her illness she chose not to go into teaching like she had wanted, but instead she chose a stable career in business that would provide health insurance and plenty of sick leave. The nun nodded, then asked her about regret and she reviewed her multiple crisis of faith and cried that she really wished there was a way that she could have been a teacher, or at least a closer aunt to her brothers’ kids once they came along. The nun, sister Dorothy, asked her if she would like an opportunity to complete those unfinished experiences of her life. She gasped, is that actually possible? All of these years she had thought of Limbo as an unjust premise that the Catholic Church made up to scare parents into baptizing at birth. It turns out that Limbo is for some the chance to finish the unfinished life before moving on. The sister explained that adults were needed to parent the unbaptized babies into maturity. The children not only did not have a chance to be baptized, they also did not have a chance to experience any of the joys and sorrows of life that most of us experience. They had no opportunities to grow into a fully developed person. There were other, older children in Limbo too. The church didn’t exactly get it right, there were kids who had been baptized also, but who had lived part of their lives, started to develop, but were not able to finish due to illness or tragedy. These kids could not truly participate in judgement, because they had not had the full experience of preparing them for life, and they had not been put into adult situations that would test their true moral metal. Babies who were baptized at birth had souls that were blank slates, so they just became born again into another body so that they would get a chance to become someone. She agreed, yes, she was so excited to have this opportunity. She wanted to jump in there right now. The nun explained that first she would go through a process of preparation. The process would take an undermined amount of time, which didn’t matter because time doesn’t operate the same as it does on earth. This was a little frustrating, but still she agreed, she really wanted this opportunity.
The process: She would need to spend time in a classroom learning about parenting a soul into a complete person. This would in effect be the owner’s manual for kids that every parent on earth was always complaining was missing. She would receive a copy of this manual for reference, but first she must study it so that much of the material could be called from memory. What would be included in the owner’s manual? What would she learn? There were some surprising answers, and some that just made intuitive sense.
After studying the parenting manual, she would spend an unspecified time in contemplation and prayer, asking for forgiveness for whatever guilt hung over her that might interfere with her ability to guide her charges. Say more about what happens during the time of contemplation and prayer? Why is it important? If she has remaining baggage from her life, it could affect her reactions and the direction that she provides to her charges. For example, she lacks self-confidence to make decisions and to choose between different options. It is important as a parent to be able to make such choices.
After an appropriate length of time in contemplation, she would be literally washed clean of her sins. This would involve being given a body, which had similarities to the body she had on earth, but stronger, not sick, more capable. She would go through the physical feat of climbing across a mountain range that was part of the entrance from the outer layer of Limbo to an inner layer. Explore here what happens during the mountain climb. She would experience trials, difficulties, She would encounter barriers for which she had to find a solution. At times she might cross the path of another person, for brief times she might even walk with a group of people, but somehow they would eventually separate, realizing that each persons’ journey was his or her own.
When she reached the other side of the mountain she would bathe in a clear cold glacier stream fed lake, until she felt that she had removed both the dust and sweat from her journey across the mountains, and the emotional baggage from sin on earth. Further describe the place where she bathes, when she enters it seems like a stream fed lake, but as she makes her way across the water there is a stone or cement wall, soaps and scrubbing implements, and again, more people. This part somewhat resembles the Ganges in India with a whole community of people there to get clean.
Although there were others going through the purification process at the same time, people entered and exited on their own, each taking the amount of time that they felt necessary. Playing with the idea that everyone is non-gendered so that people may cooperate or even partner in order to raise the children but there is not the distraction of sex? This would also allow the idea that each person gets to be a whole person, one person could if needed fill both mother and father roles without it feeling as though they are stepping out of bounds. Being non-gendered might get around sex (if we are like the Ken doll with no sex organs) but it would not get around affection. And what about breast feeding the babies? Breasts seem important at least during the time that you have an infant who needs to be nurtured. Perhaps, though, in this post-earth life breast feeding is not necessary (is there disease? Do you need the immune boost from breast milk?). Perhaps we just start them on a muddles seaweed paste. Once she had bathed in the stream and come sufficiently clean, she would be greeted by a figure in a robe the color of grass. This green figure would be your next guide, the one who provided instructions for the last stage of preparation. That figure would offer her fresh clothes and make any adjustments that needed to be done to her physical form, as well as offering to her a starter kit of supplies to make a life in Limbo. This included some building materials, planting materials, and some random items of whose purpose she was not sure. She was then encouraged to walk around the Valley and select a cabin. The cabin had one room and was a starting place. She was informed that as she came to have more children, or as her children grew she would need to add to the cabin what she believed her children needed, and to consult the manual. She asked about the children, where were the children that she had been brought to parent? They will come to you when you are prepared for them, was the answer. What can I do to be prepared? Choose a home and make it a welcoming place, one that will support child development.
Not everyone in Limbo is there due to childlessness or dying before childhood is complete. There is likely other unfinished business that could occur in life.
Somewhere in the story she meets Lot’s wife. His children were eventually able to move on, to accept the bargain that God made with Lot and move on to the next life. Maybe not all of them did accept it? Maybe one of them just became so angry that he/she rejected God and went to Lucifer willingly to spend eternity away from the God that would end his life and his siblings to prove a point. This could be part of the burden of Lot’s wife, why she hadn’t yet moved on, that she still had unresolved business because of what happened with her children.
Describe the village she chooses. What is it like? What was it about this village that seemed most nurturing? Perhaps it was the neighbors who seemed helpful, ore like a good influence? Perhaps she would choose and arts community if there is art in Limbo.
She chose a village near a stream that fed directly into a lake. Being near water was important to her. She also chose this particular community because she could hear music that made her want to dance. The music seemed to soothe and stimulate at the same time. That was another regret she had in life -that she had never learned to play an instrument. She decided that perhaps this town would allow her the opportunity to remedy that. When traveling across the mountains she had met a few bands of musicians – they would play, some would join in the singing, but all she could do was dance. One thing she heard that really made her feel more whole, is that while you do play music for yourself, it is further gratifying when you see that others are moved by what you create. That made sense to her, so dancing, even if it wasn’t skilled dancing, showed appreciation to the musicians for their creation. Regardless, she settled on a cottage next to one with fiddle tunes and drums drifting from the rafters. She walked around the small room, laid out the belongings she collected, and set about trying to imagine what she might do to make this inviting for a child. One thing would be to make or find a rocking chair to sit with the child. The next was to start planting a garden. She ventured out in to the square to talk to the other villagers and find out how she would go about obtaining such things as a rocker and some seeds to plant. She met people who explained the bartering system. She could do work or offer goods in exchange for what she wanted. The area along the river banks was public space and anything found there was community property. She went to the river and first she collected up some young onions and seaweed in her skirts, then she thought she needed a basket. She actually knew something about basket making from her past life. She started collecting small branches and reeds to make a basket. She placed her onions and seaweed in the basket. She walked along the river’s edge looking for more food, she collected some potatoes. She decided to make a second basket. When she returned to the square there seemed to be preparations for a meal going on, she brought what she collected and started preparing a dish next to one of the other cooks. She offered some of her onions and potatoes to the huge stew pot that was above the spit. People were admiring her baskets and she realized this was a thing she could do, she could barter her basket making skills for something. She traded a basket to one of her neighbors for some seeds and herbs. She traded her 2nd basket to someone else for a set of wooden bowls, spoons, and cups. There were 5 of each item, which seemed perfect as she hoped for 3 children and her partner. She could give up both baskets because she knew how to make another tomorrow. That night she slept a deep sleep, she did not remember having a single dream. Usually in this place you had dreams to process what had happened in your day what you had learned was replayed. She felt like she had experienced quite a bit that day- but no dreams. In the morning when a bell rung from the tower in the square, she woke feeling refreshed. She wiped her face on her skirt and walked out into the square to see what was happening. She introduced herself to a few people since she was new. One of the families invited her over for a light breakfast and conversation, she was so grateful and asked how could she repay their hospitality? They told her that their penance is to feed every stranger they encounter as in life they had turned a blind eye to the needs of others. At first they had found it challenging as they had to work extra hard to make enough food to always feed a stranger, - but they were now accustomed to it, and quite enjoyed meeting new people. (The next day she would find them gone. Assumed into heaven since that realization had been the final resolution of their unfinished business)
After thanking her hosts profusely for breakfast, she went down to the river and set about making more baskets and collecting more potatoes and leeks. She also collected supplies to make more baskets back in her cabin. Her cabin was getting lonely and she longed for a child to come along – but she recognized that she still needed to find a way to barter a rocking chair. She decided that she would put her desire out in the public square at dinner tonight. She took back her first batch of baskets and potatoes, then returned to the river to collect more. This time she found that her basket was taking the shape of a bassinet. Just as she was putting the finishing touches on the bassinet and getting ready to return to her cabin and town center, she noticed something moving toward her in the stream. She could not believe her eyes, it was a baby floating on top of a large leaf. She didn’t even question what to do, she knew that this was the first of her children to raise to maturity. As she waded out into the stream toward the slow-moving leaf, she felt more certain, she scooped up the child and the leaf, and as she returned to shore she could feel her breasts enlarging and engorging with milk. How is that possible she wondered? But then she realized that the rules here were definitely not what they were in life. Some things were the same. Breastfeeding, this part of the parenting manual she remembered. As soon as she reached the edge of the stream she stepped out and sat against a tree along the edge. Just as natural as if she had done it many times in the past – she brought the child’s face up toward her breast. She looked the child in the eye and spoke to him in soothing tones. She welcomed him to her life and to the village, then she offered her breast, which he locked on to immediately. She wondered how long he had been floating along that river without anything to nourish him? When she was done she cried tears of joy, but also a little from the sore nipple. Of this she had heard, and she felt a little bit more a part of womankind. She set her new son into the bassinet on top of some reeds, and covered him with the leaf that she had been drying in the sun. She made a slow walk into the village, wondering what would happen in her sleep tonight. She also wondered a little bit if she would sleep, she had heard babies often didn’t sleep through the night for several weeks. She wasn’t quite sure how old this little guy was.
Comments
Post a Comment